And in that moment, I swear we were infinite.

And in that moment, I swear we were infinite.

xloveemomusicx

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CANADA [Sunday
June 24th, 2007 at 10:16am]

i'll be in canada for 2 weeks without internet so i wont be updating for the next 2 weeks :[
hope everyone is having a great vaca though :D
<3333

1 still feel the butterflies

starting over... [Wednesday
June 6th, 2007 at 2:15pm]

[ mood | sick ]

[ music | Seed - The Academy Is... ]

Hey everyone!

Sorry I haven't been on lately...re-thinking my life.
I'm done with love for now.
My feelings and emotions have been messed up and I've been throwing around names saying I love them when it was all a facade. I've finally gotten back to normal and I don't love anyone. If I explained it all here - it would be like a 10 page long essay so just bare with me here. I've finally organized and got my feelings back to normal. So it's all good.

But hey - that's the only positive thing in my life at the moment.

I'm addicted to a drug that I've been taking for the past 3 months. It's some spray you take to breathe. See when I'm stressed out (which is always), I can't breathe so I started taking it. On the bottle it says don't take it for more than 2 weeks. I've been taking it for over 3 months. My mum found out at the same time I realized I was addicted. And it sucks cause I'm dependent on it now. So I made a promise to her that I'd try to stop.
First night - I went through the night successfully without taking it.
Second night - major cold. i couldn't breathe. i broke down. and took it. i've been taking it since. it's the second day of taking it. it helps me sleep so i say screw everyone. but i hate having to lie to my mum and saying i'm not taking it. when the cold is over, i'm throwing out the meds. but it's hell. i've got this horrible cold right before finals and I've got to do 3 bloody performances this weekend and the next. Too much for me. Too much.

starting to speak with a british accent and slang.
always fun.
my cup of tea.
my life is a mess.

i'll be better soon...

i hope.

6 still feel the butterflies

it's the room the sun and the sky... [Thursday
May 17th, 2007 at 2:49pm]

[ mood | depressed ]

[ music | The Taste of Ink - The Used ]

School: I want to kill my ex-girlfriend. She makes my life a living hell. I can't even describe. Fuck. it. I'm sorry if I'm being repetetive with this but if only you knew how fucking pyscho she is.

Acting: Thursday nights are always hell because I've gotta be at my acting studio for 3 1/2 hours (acting non-stop). As much as I love acting, tonight I really don't feel like going but I have to since in less than 3 weeks, we'll be performing our play, so I need to be there for my buddies. Problem is - I don't have any of my lines memorized for tonight. Cie is going to kill me :-\

Love/Poetry: Wrote another poem for KV (this one isn't very good but whatever - it's love from me to her):

My heart weeps for the one I shall never have
and skips a beat when thou and I cross paths
Eyes lock, captured in thou beauty
If only ye knew how much I love thee
Smiles so gently; ease me
Thou magnificent face is all I see
Thou hath my heart 'til the end of time
Our two loves be two stars that always shine.

God. I've never felt this way about someone before in my life. And the worst thing is - I can NEVER be with her and she can never know and it kills me inside. Life is cruel - to love someone so much that you can never have. Why don't you just rip my heart out of my chest so I won't have to feel the pain anymore...

1 still feel the butterflies

The one that you are looking for, you're not gunna find her here... [Wednesday
May 16th, 2007 at 3:23pm]

[ mood | okay ]

[ music | Scene From Below - Mary Trembles ]

School: The ex-girlfriend came and sat down next to me during lunch and did some unmentionable things under the table and I kept pushing her hand away and telling her to stop, but she wouldn't, until I blew up at her and then she left. She's unbearable! No matter how many times I sit her down and have the "you can't grope me and act like we're going out anymore since i am over you" talk, she doesn't get it. She's fucking irritating! Apparently there's a tornado alert. AHAHA in this small non-existant town, there is a tornado alert. i laughed so hard because the school made us all leave early....psh...OH LOOK A FUNNEL IN THE SKY!!!

Love: is strange. I realized today something that I've known all along but I didn't want to admit to myself. Ever since my ex and I broke up, I've been "falling" for people I don't know (or I've met online) because exactly that, I don't know them and me and my wishful thinking that they might be different than all the others..it's sort of funny. Anyways it's good that I've finally admitted it to myself - I guess this is my way of coping with the fact that the one person I truly love I can never have.

Wicca: I commented on Chrissy's myspace to see if she's free next Friday to meet up and pratice/study a little bit...I really hope she says yes :]

Music: Damn - can you say s l o w? I never would have guessed that turning your bedroom into a recording studio would take this long - but we're working on it. I haven't written any new songs lately but I wrote another poem today in History...

Poetry: Here's the poem I wrote today in History (it's for and about the one person I love and that person is the one who I can never have)

KV

Thy beautiful brown hair
Curls falling down thou back
With beauty and grace, 'tis rare
To find such a breath-taking sight.
Freckles cover thou young face
and kisses gently placed on thy soft lips
For love; our love truer than anything in this world
Must be heaven sent; from up above.
Thou smiles warm my heart and soul
Thou heart and mine together are whole
We love like no other
My dearest, my heart and love is what you have stole

What do you guys think?

2 still feel the butterflies

hello [Tuesday
May 15th, 2007 at 5:40pm]

[ mood | blah ]

[ music | Spaceship - The Vines ]

I finally got a new livejournal - I missed writing out all of my goddam emo problems and hearing from people I don't even know's opinions on them :] haha just jesting. I actually find strangers to be the best advice givers hehe Soo let's get started shall we...

Today...

- my ex-girlfriend tried to get me to kiss her. when will she learn?
- i talked to liss and it's bad cause i think im starting to develop a "crush" on her even though i've never met her in person. she's just such a cool person and i don't know what to do about it. i don't know if she's gay/bi or even if she's single...hopefully i'll think of something (me and my stupid hopeless romantic ways)
- got called emo by abby...again.
- listened to Spaceship by the Vines an unhealthy amount of times
- read some Shakespeare...the man is a genius.
- found out that Ben has a girlfriend named Georgina who's Egyptian - AHHAHAHAHAHA...sorry.

and that's pretty much it.

lesson of the day: love has made me a fool. but if i must be a fool for love. so be it. love is like oxygen. without it, i won't survive.

feel the butterflies

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